Objects of Uncertain Origins

I travel the world searching for the most unique, unusual, and, occasionally, dangerous objects available, then offer them to you here in our humble shop.  In order to do this successfully, I am obliged to deal with "contacts" who tend to be as unique as the items I display.

These contacts are often, shall we say, less than entirely reputable. Nobody would ever hire one of these "contacts" as a babysitter, for instance, or for any other job that might require basic human character traits, like dog walking.

I deal with these people so you don't have to. But I don't trust them all that much unlessI have them cornered inside a pentagram while my assistant recites the Aklo Formula, and my assistant is currently unavailable due to an accident in the lab; I've been unable to locate him or his body, although I'm still hopefull because I can occasionally hear disembodied weeping coming from a corner of the storeroom.

So what I'm getting at is this: I will absolutely, 100%, guarantee the physical description of all items I sell. ​

I DO NOT, however, guarantee the backstory. Nor do I guarantee the safety of anything I sell. Some of this stuff is crazy, and if you try to use it, you must be crazy too. I'm not responsible for your crazy.

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